This movie, you guys. This. Fucking. Movie.
Let me tell you about this delightful bullshit movie.
The film: Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012)
The premise: Admissions up front: for the average American, the dialogue in this movie is going to be hard to understand. That’s because, as the title implies, it’s set in East End London, and all the main characters have the associated incredibly strong East Ender accent. Proceed accordingly.
Okay! The premise. Well, it’s simple. These generally kind-hearted fuck-ups decide to rob a bank to save their grandfather’s elder home, and then in the middle of it the zombie apocalypse happens, with all the accompanying drama and gore. Except in this case, the zombies are actually really slow and shambling, and the movie makes excellent use of that concept, to much hilarity.
Why you should watch it: Remember Shawn of the Dead? This is like that, except way ruder and more violent, and half the protagonists are in their 80s, and there’s no awkward romantic subplot. Honestly, it’s hard to talk about what’s so great about this movie without citing specific moments, and that would ruin the surprise. Suffice it to say that this is a film that understands comedic timing, and isn’t afraid to drench its jokes in an absolutely absurd amount of blood and gore. And shooting.
Basically, if you’ve ever wanted to see a dramatic chase scene between a shambling zombie and an old man in a walker…Cockneys vs. Zombies delivers.
The drinking game: Take a drink every time someone dies.
Bonus: Take a shot every time you can’t understand what a character said but you know it was a swear word.
Where it’s available: Netflix!
Violently yours,
M.M. Jordahl
“You’re about as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike.” –Cockneys vs. Zombies
M.M. Jordahl 