It’s November! It’s NaNoWriMo! All of the things are happening! Sounds like it’s time to start a new segment on this blog, because I do what I want, bitches.
I have a lovely pack of friends who like to sometimes come to my house to get really drunk and watch a terrible movie. It’s exactly as much fun as it sounds like it is. After several months of doing this on an almost weekly basis, we’ve built up an impressive library of films with appended drinking games. It seems a shame to keep them all to myself, so from now on, the first Monday of the month (and therefore the first blog post of the month) will be Drunk Movie Monday, when I will tell you about a fantastic movie to watch while drinking. First up:
The film: Iron Sky
The premise: In 1945, a bunch of Nazis escape to the dark side of the moon, where they build a secret Nazi compound and carry on the glory of the Aryan race. Fast-forward to 2012, when President Sarah Palin sends a mission to the moon, disturbing the Nazis and inspiring them to invade Earth.
Why you should watch it: The premise of Iron Sky is the most logical thing about it. Everything, from the dialogue to the acting to the special effects to the plot trajectory, makes no goddamn sense. The plot falls to pieces almost immediately, and then it just keeps going from there. Trying to find a satisfactory way to describe the sheer inane hilarity of this film is proving to be impossible, so instead I’m just going to list things that are in this film:
- a black man in white-face
- space ships
- bad (sometimes inexplicable) German accents
- President Sarah Palin being more Nazi-ish than the Nazis
To be honest, I don’t really remember how the story resolves, because I was pretty drunk when I watched it. All I remember is aggressively shouting at the screen, “Once you go black, you totally ruin the Aryan gene pool!” then dissolving into a fit of giggles. It’s that kind of movie.
The drinking game: Drink whenever they say “Heil!” Do so cautiously. You might die.
Bonus: Drink for racism, sexism, homophobia, and ableism (keep an eye out for the FDR joke). Drink double if you feel bad for laughing about it, because you should feel bad for laughing about it.
Where it’s available: It’s on Netflix. You’re welcome.
“All presidents who start a war in their first term get re-elected.” -President Sarah Palin, Iron Sky