It’s November! It’s NaNoWriMo! All of the things are happening! Sounds like it’s time to start a new segment on this blog, because I do what I want, bitches.
I have a lovely pack of friends who like to sometimes come to my house to get really drunk and watch a terrible movie. It’s exactly as much fun as it sounds like it is. After several months of doing this on an almost weekly basis, we’ve built up an impressive library of films with appended drinking games. It seems a shame to keep them all to myself, so from now on, the first Monday of the month (and therefore the first blog post of the month) will be Drunk Movie Monday, when I will tell you about a fantastic movie to watch while drinking. First up:
The film: Iron Sky
The premise: In 1945, a bunch of Nazis escape to the dark side of the moon, where they build a secret Nazi compound and carry on the glory of the Aryan race. Fast-forward to 2012, when President Sarah Palin sends a mission to the moon, disturbing the Nazis and inspiring them to invade Earth.
Why you should watch it: The premise of Iron Sky is the most logical thing about it. Everything, from the dialogue to the acting to the special effects to the plot trajectory, makes no goddamn sense. The plot falls to pieces almost immediately, and then it just keeps going from there. Trying to find a satisfactory way to describe the sheer inane hilarity of this film is proving to be impossible, so instead I’m just going to list things that are in this film:
- a black man in white-face
- space ships
- bad (sometimes inexplicable) German accents
- gratuitous…everything…?
- President Sarah Palin being more Nazi-ish than the Nazis
- explosions
To be honest, I don’t really remember how the story resolves, because I was pretty drunk when I watched it. All I remember is aggressively shouting at the screen, “Once you go black, you totally ruin the Aryan gene pool!” then dissolving into a fit of giggles. It’s that kind of movie.
The drinking game: Drink whenever they say “Heil!” Do so cautiously. You might die.
Bonus: Drink for racism, sexism, homophobia, and ableism (keep an eye out for the FDR joke). Drink double if you feel bad for laughing about it, because you should feel bad for laughing about it.
Where it’s available: It’s on Netflix. You’re welcome.
Drunkenly yours,
M.M. Jordahl
“All presidents who start a war in their first term get re-elected.” -President Sarah Palin, Iron Sky
M.M. Jordahl 
Uh! I love that movie, it’s so trashy it’s already too good to not be seen and it gives you tons of laughter. So … happy trashily greetings from the dark side of the moon. Oh, I mean Germany ;)
I was laughing so hard watching this film that I think I missed about 80% of the “plot,” which is always a good sign in a drinking film. :P
Is it bad that I saw the trailer for this and kinda wanted to see it not-drunk?
I mean, it would probably still be hilarious sober. There’s nothing not-funny about moon Nazis.
That and the tight leather. Who doesn’t like tight leather on moon Nazis?
It’s true. The Nazis are uncomfortably attractive in their leather, too. It’s a problem.
Also, wow, I should include trailers in these posts. How did I not think of that.
I really want to see this movie (I feel it’s probably as awful as the similarly themed Nazis at the Centre of the Earth ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2130142/ )). The best movie I watched drunk was probably Artificial Telepathy – drink every time they reuse a set/helicopter and every time you still don’t believe the Russians and Americans are collaborating to create psychic soldiers. I also watched it sober and it was still hilarious.
Nazis and Russians–both great themes for drinking films, apparently. I’ll have to add that one to the list. Your description of it reminds me of the glory that is Red Dawn–both the original and the remake. I’ll have to make my girls watch those with me at some point, too, I think.
I’d not heard of Red Dawn but having looked it up it’s going to go on my ‘to watch’ list. Good luck trying to find Artificial Telepathy, we stumbled upon it in a (sadly now bankrupt) Blockbuster store but Googling it only comes up with one result (in Polish) and a different film called Mindstorm. I guess it wasn’t the Box Office hit I thought it was :(
…it looks like “Mindstorm” and “Artificial Telepathy” are two different names for the same film. It is also apparently called “Project: Human Weapon.” At least, IMDB seems to think so. Trailer here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0305831/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 Is that it?
You’re right they are. I wasn’t sure when I looked it up on IMDB but when I watched the trailer there was no mistaking it.