I get a lot of spam messages. I have been getting more of them in recent weeks due to my unusually high posting volume. A lot of people hate getting spam messages, but I’ve developed a certain fondness for the things. They just try so hard to sound like people, you know? So many almost-sentences. It just makes me want to pat them on the head.
Instead, I collected a bunch of my favorite bits and strung them together into a poem. All of the lines in what you are about to read came to me via spam messages on this blog. I edited punctuation on a couple of them and sort of cut and pasted bits and broke up the lines, but most of it is in the original order, complete with original spelling and grammar. Enjoy.
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A screwdriver is
a in forge highball chug-a-lug
made with untested orange vigour
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Yours for a limited time only,
“I’ve learned how to use my spam filter pretty effectively.” -Weird Al Yankovic
P.S. The spammers appear to like what I’ve done with their work. Comment I received today: “Disgrace on the seek engines for now not positioning this put up higher!”
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